We let our kids watch TV, but thank God we didn’t have cable news droning on in the background through this election season.

Quinn is 5 and was aware of who was running, but not much more. If he’d seen and heard the speeches and the bullying and the yelling and lynch-mob-style chanting, it would have made this morning’s misery even worse. He’d be quizzing us. And I’d be like, ok, I shouldn’t lie here, but I also don’t wanna freak him out and teach him that being a monster is, like, the way to go.

He’ll be 9 by the time Trump’s term ends. So I might eventually have to deal with this crap. But thankfully, today I won’t have to have a conversation like this:

‘The one who grabs ladies in their privates won?’

‘Yup.’

‘The one who made fun of the disabled man won?’

‘Yes.’

‘The one who called Mexicans murderers and rapists won?’

‘Yes, he did.’

‘The one who didn’t prepare for the debates won?’

‘Yes.’

‘Why did he win?’

‘It’s complicated. But, a big reason is that a lot of people didn’t like the people who are already in charge of the country, and they just wanted somebody new.’

‘Even though he’s so mean?’

‘Well, yeah. I know it’s weird.’

‘Do they think Muslims should be deported and that Mexicans are rapists?’

‘Some think that, but I hope not all of them.’

‘Do they think you should be able to touch ladies whenever you want?’

‘Probably not, no.’

‘So why did they vote for him? It doesn’t make sense.’

‘Well, a lot of people have lost their jobs and have less money to buy stuff than they want and they think he’ll help them get their jobs back so they can have more money for their families.’

‘Will Trump help them?’

‘I hope so, but I’m not sure.’

‘I thought you said Hillary would be a good president?’

‘Well, yeah, I did. But other people didn’t think so. Different people see things in different ways. And she wasn’t perfect either.’

‘But was she as mean as Trump?’

‘No, she’s not very mean. But some people thought she lied a lot.’

‘Did she?’

‘Yeah, sometimes. But she still would have been a good president.’

‘Even though she lied?’

‘Nobody’s perfect. Not even daddy.’

‘Yeah I know you’re not perfect.’

‘Uh, good.’

‘So the people who voted for Trump aren’t mean?’

‘Well, some of them are, yeah. But I don’t think all of them are. I think a lot of them were just scared because they want good jobs so they can have more money for their families.’

Then I’d pause and look him in the eyes.

‘This is important. Yes, there are bad people out there, but not everybody is bad. You know how sometimes one of your friends will push somebody on the playground? But not everyone does that? It’s kind of like that. It’s better to be good. If we are nice to other people, we make them feel good, and when you feel good, you tend to be nicer to other people. Understand?’

‘Uh-huh. I guess so.’

‘Good.’

‘Dad?’

‘Yeah?’

‘What are the “nuclear codes”?’